So...

I'm trying my damnedest to work out a strategy, a P.O.A., if you will; a life change! I've been at this pursuit for nearly a decade, and one begins to ask, (or repeat at nauseam, like me), whether or not this shit is even worth it anymore. The uber optimist within screams, "hell yes, never give up!!!", yet the realist is reminding me of the beaten, possibly dead horse way in my deep dark cranial corner! This is a constant, mind you, which lends itself to a plethora of self destructive behavior. So again, nauseatingly, I ask myself, "what the fuck to do?"! Do I leave this godforsaken city and raise my daughter in a more low key environment, or do I remain to fight, in a beautifully chaotic realm that may prove successful; it'll only take a little while.

So...

I end this seemingly endless battle with even more fight than befaore. I have lived to fight another day!