I have never understood envy. I can honestly say I have never possessed this useless emotion. I get playfully jealous when men/women check out my husband, but envy is a entirely different animal. How can anyone wish ill on another, simply for the fact that they lack something they desire; what another has, or exudes naturally?

As of now, I am being punished for being happy in my life. I may not be rich, but I truly love my life with my husband and beautiful new daughter.

God love him, my husband was trying to tell me my family felt this way about me from waaaaaaay back! Now, it's rearing it's ugly fucking head! I have to learn how to forgive & move on, but they keep reminding me every fucking day!

I need to meditate, or do some yoga now.

Peace and love to you all. HONESTLY!!! Pass it on, folks! True positivity_ we all need each other.

Ya' see?!

We have control over this, folks, or it becomes chemical!

Today hasn't been very eventful, except for the ginormous argument I had with my mom. It always sucks to realize family will never change, even if we've matured and moved on from our old selves. They still treat us like the doormat geeks with really low self esteem.

What-the-fuck-ever, man! I'll get over this shit soon! I'm just fuming right now! They say, never go to bed angry_ well, tough tittie! I am!

Night all. ;*

So...

I'm trying my damnedest to work out a strategy, a P.O.A., if you will; a life change! I've been at this pursuit for nearly a decade, and one begins to ask, (or repeat at nauseam, like me), whether or not this shit is even worth it anymore. The uber optimist within screams, "hell yes, never give up!!!", yet the realist is reminding me of the beaten, possibly dead horse way in my deep dark cranial corner! This is a constant, mind you, which lends itself to a plethora of self destructive behavior. So again, nauseatingly, I ask myself, "what the fuck to do?"! Do I leave this godforsaken city and raise my daughter in a more low key environment, or do I remain to fight, in a beautifully chaotic realm that may prove successful; it'll only take a little while.

So...

I end this seemingly endless battle with even more fight than befaore. I have lived to fight another day!

Familia Mea!

My gorgeous daughter, Tonia Calliope Burt, and my fine-ass husband, Johnny.

They're my reason for living and creating. Who needs religion when you got these two?!

More stuff to come, promise!

Welcome to my world...

Hey-llo's, which is just another way of saying hello by way of sibling adlibbing. I wanted to start this blog to reintroduce myself to the beauty of writing. Now that I'm a new mommy, and aspiring film director, I need to get my screenwriting wheels tuned and oiled. I'll be posting film clips, photographs and whatever else I seem to come up with, to keep you guys posted. Speaking of which, check out my debut directing project. Lemme know what you guys think.

Peace, love & elbow grease, y'all!!!