Phew!

My mother in Chicago just gave word that her CT scans have shown a great diminishing of her tumors in her lungs. She has Stage IV Osteosarcoma, a rare bone cancer, that spread to her lungs. There were four huge ones there, and now, by the grace of all that's miraculous, have shrunk so small that the oncologist can barely see them anymore. She may just need a couple more rounds and some radiation, and she could be done. They say that she's such a rare and amazing case, that they're actually pulling for a cure. She doesn't react to chemo like all other patients. ALL of her doctors were in awe of how resilient my mother's system is, and now they want to make a case study to teach others in the future on how to treat such a rare cancer. It told her it was her strength and our love that is helping her defeat this calcified demon. She will win.

Halloween=Getae?!

As we awaited trick-or-treaters, my lovely Tinkerbell, Tonia, grew weary. What a sad day when no one celebrates such a fun, kid-friendly tradition anymore. Needless to say, our giant bowl of wonderful hard candies and glorious chews, remained full. More for us, I guess.

Funny enough, Johnny and I started looking up random videos from my native country of Romania, watching and toying with the idea of someday contributing to the ever burgeoning economy there. We'd be a hot, American entertainment couple, ready to brand our mark on my birth country, with film and music ideas of grandeur. This all led to the unanswerable question of the origin of my true heritage. Romanian is my primary heritage, but since there are a few mysteries to my birth, which I'll delve in future posts, that I may be part Macedonian. Being the voracious researchers we are, my husband and I took to good 'ol Wiki to trace back all the possibilities. After hours of countless reads, we've narrowed down the more than likely chance of my links to the ancient tribe Getae, before the Dacian and Thracian tribes conquered us. And eventually, even before the Romans came in, forever staining the fabric of or culture. The Getae have some Greek origins, and believed in a entirely different deity, Zalmoxis, than the mythological gods of the time. Mind you, I come from a bloodline before the established religions. We were a raw, courageous lot of fighters, who incidentally survived some of Alexander the Great's violent conquests. Fuck 300!!! We were fucking fearless! Yet unfortunately, like all small tribes of the past, we were outnumbered, and almost erased from history. Thank goodness for poets and scholars of the time, with their written praises. They adored our balls.

Living the Dream

Above is Tonia, my exotic jewel. Then, another video I've written, directed, shot and edited. This was my directorial debut, and was my husband's first music video. We kinda went backwards on the idea. We executed the concept first, then Johnny created the music to it. Unconventional, no?

Terrible

Today has been really rough, physically. After nursing my husband and daughter through their colds, I, inevitably, have caught the runaway train of all sinus colds. I don't mind it much, yet I realized how much I actually do in a day. My husband's right, I never do sit still. Tonia has me running around all day, which is awesome. Who needs a gym? I research the web all day, keep up with my web presence, and when the baby wakes up from her nap, I run around some more.

I cherish the moments I can steal to watch some great foreign or indie films. They're an unending source of inspiration. I do, of course, write from experience, and envision my life play out on screen, scene by every cringing scene. I've led an awkward life, but an exciting one. Days when I'm incapacitated, like today, I tend to reflect on the paths I've chosen in my life. They've all led me to what I've dreamed of my whole life, just wrapped in a delightfully different package. I'm grateful for all my blessings, even when I'm all sickies and can't muster up any strength. My beautiful family makes sure I rest and relax, even though I don't want to. They love me, despite my being stubborn. And that, my friends, is true love.

Butterfinger Spec

This was written and directed by me. Scored and shot by my husband Johnny Burt, aka Amatsu (Twitter: @AmatsuMusic) Co-Starring our good friend, James Shanahan. This was originally an official submission for their competition last year, but made a novice mistake by wearing logos on our t-shirts, DUH!!! Needless to say, we were disqualified. But despite the slip-up, I think we had a fighting chance. Oh, well.

A Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood

Shot this a couple of weeks ago. I felt as if the sky split open and poured itself unto me. Those clouds belonged to me. I've immortalized you, my frail, nurturing beauty.

Hell To the Mutha'fuckin' Yeah!

Yes, I'm a fucking dork. So what.

The Address

Yes, I know. I'm a fucking dork. So what.

Reflection

Just taking some time out today to figure out a strategy to ensure my daughter's future. It feels a bit ridiculous at times to continue pursuing a dream that bears no fruit, as I raise a child. Yet, I want her to grow up confident in the pursuit of her passions, despite the very tall and wide hurdles. It's too easy to join the masses, with the collective idea that mundane vocation is acceptable. Not to say many don't find those vocations fulfilling. For me, I accepted this path, and will follow it through to my grave. I want my daughter to find that. Whatever that pull is, her father and I will make sure she is clear headed, surefooted and fearless, just like we are, and more. I love you, my precious angel.