Living the Dream

Above is Tonia, my exotic jewel. Then, another video I've written, directed, shot and edited. This was my directorial debut, and was my husband's first music video. We kinda went backwards on the idea. We executed the concept first, then Johnny created the music to it. Unconventional, no?

Terrible

Today has been really rough, physically. After nursing my husband and daughter through their colds, I, inevitably, have caught the runaway train of all sinus colds. I don't mind it much, yet I realized how much I actually do in a day. My husband's right, I never do sit still. Tonia has me running around all day, which is awesome. Who needs a gym? I research the web all day, keep up with my web presence, and when the baby wakes up from her nap, I run around some more.

I cherish the moments I can steal to watch some great foreign or indie films. They're an unending source of inspiration. I do, of course, write from experience, and envision my life play out on screen, scene by every cringing scene. I've led an awkward life, but an exciting one. Days when I'm incapacitated, like today, I tend to reflect on the paths I've chosen in my life. They've all led me to what I've dreamed of my whole life, just wrapped in a delightfully different package. I'm grateful for all my blessings, even when I'm all sickies and can't muster up any strength. My beautiful family makes sure I rest and relax, even though I don't want to. They love me, despite my being stubborn. And that, my friends, is true love.

Butterfinger Spec

This was written and directed by me. Scored and shot by my husband Johnny Burt, aka Amatsu (Twitter: @AmatsuMusic) Co-Starring our good friend, James Shanahan. This was originally an official submission for their competition last year, but made a novice mistake by wearing logos on our t-shirts, DUH!!! Needless to say, we were disqualified. But despite the slip-up, I think we had a fighting chance. Oh, well.

A Beautiful Day In the Neighborhood

Shot this a couple of weeks ago. I felt as if the sky split open and poured itself unto me. Those clouds belonged to me. I've immortalized you, my frail, nurturing beauty.

Hell To the Mutha'fuckin' Yeah!

Yes, I'm a fucking dork. So what.

The Address

Yes, I know. I'm a fucking dork. So what.

Reflection

Just taking some time out today to figure out a strategy to ensure my daughter's future. It feels a bit ridiculous at times to continue pursuing a dream that bears no fruit, as I raise a child. Yet, I want her to grow up confident in the pursuit of her passions, despite the very tall and wide hurdles. It's too easy to join the masses, with the collective idea that mundane vocation is acceptable. Not to say many don't find those vocations fulfilling. For me, I accepted this path, and will follow it through to my grave. I want my daughter to find that. Whatever that pull is, her father and I will make sure she is clear headed, surefooted and fearless, just like we are, and more. I love you, my precious angel.

Thanks Eddie Burns

Last night I watched an amazing video on a panel discussion held at the Woodstock Film Festival, with many many notable distributors, and god bless 'im, Edward Burns. He not only was there for the screening of his new indie film, "Nice Guy Johnny", he went on to proudly discuss the costs of his films to date, and the new multi-platform of film distribution. As an up and coming filmmaker myself, I was inspired by his independent spirit. Like him, I write, produce and direct my own projects. In the future, I  may even star in them. I even go a bit further with editing them, like a madwoman. Budget permitting, I will hire an editor for my feature length endeavors; I don't have the heart to subject my audience to a half-bit slice job.  As long as I can find the right investors with a passion for my movie, I too, can make a film for $30,000. Thanks again, Mr. Burns, for furthering my strength to carry on. I will get my film made, damnit!

Crayons Over Candy

I guess eating a bunch of crayons may not prove nutritionally substantial, yet I guess it's better than rotting out her baby teeth. See, my daughter, Tonia, prefers the ever clay-like-tasting-crayon to the conventional lollipop. During this trying time, I guess I should relish her tendency toward unconventionality. Shit, she gets it from me, after all. I actually admire how headstrong she's turning out to be. In fact, I hope she goes on to challenge all forms of convention, as the ever growing evolution of society retains the constant, irrational view on how everyone should conduct themselves. Soldier on, my beautiful seed!